11 replies on “More Enterprise news…”

  1. Berman to Disappointed Trek Fan Translation
    “We’re going to see how many plots and characters from the other shows we can recycle because we’ve given up on any pretense of originality.”

  2. Berman, Berman, Berman….
    From the article:

    “One of [the last four episodes] is going to be a fascinating Borg encounter,” he told the mag. “Which is interesting in that Starfleet had never heard of the Borg before Picard. So we have managed to deal with that in what I feel is a very interesting fashion.”

    Translation: We’re screwing up continuity in a veiled attempt to bring up ratings. We no longer respect the viewers, and feel that the good will of the majority of long-time fans is irrelevant to our being a success. Gene Roddenberry may have created this show, but I’m sure as heck not going to let that ruin it.

    I can’t wait to see what he’s got planned for both the Borg-episode and the season finale – the “Change-bringer” so to speak – I’m sure it’s going to be completely moronic and pander to the lowest common denominator out there. In fact, I’m not even sure while I still care, Enterprise had promise, but I think Berman has pretty much killed it and any chance it had of being a success.

  3. Next Week On Enterpoop ….
    While Capt Archer beams back up from a hostile planet, young Cadet Sparky accidentaly polarizes the hull plating which causes a breach in the space-time continuum so that three different timelines suddenly converge! Instead of only Archer … three Captains of the Enterpoop materialize on the transporter platform.

    Picard: (looks about) My God man! What have you done to my ship?

    Archer: Who the are you guys? Wait…no time for that now…we’ve got to strip down and spread decon gel on ourselves before we infect the ship!

    Kirk: (slaps Archer upside the head several times) What the HELL are you TALKING about? I don’t swing that way pretty-boy. Say, Who’s thst Vulcan behind the console? I’d like to spread some goo on her . (winks)

    Archer: Christ! These scripts suck! I hade it MADE in Quantum Leap and now I can’t even get a guest spot on Conan O’Brian. Berman – get your sorry ass over here!

    Picard: Berman! So that’s it eh? After Roddenbery died that son of a Ferengi crapped up *my* show too!

    Kirk: Roddenberry…DEAD ?? I… I… cant IMAGINE … the show without …

    Tune in NEXT WEEK for MORE Exciting crap on the Show That Never Ends or Changes…. ENTERPOOP!!

    • Re: Next Week On Enterpoop ….

      While Capt Archer beams back up from a hostile planet, young Cadet Sparky accidentaly polarizes the hull plating which causes a breach in the space-time continuum so that three different timelines suddenly converge! Instead of only Archer … three Captains of the Enterpoop materialize on the transporter platform.

      Picard: (looks about) My God man! What have you done to my ship?

      Archer: Who the are you guys? Wait…no time for that now…we’ve got to strip down and spread decon gel on ourselves before we infect the ship!

      Kirk: (slaps Archer upside the head several times) What the HELL are you TALKING about? I don’t swing that way pretty-boy. Say, Who’s thst Vulcan behind the console? I’d like to spread some goo on her . (winks)

      Archer: Christ! These scripts suck! I hade it MADE in Quantum Leap and now I can’t even get a guest spot on Conan O’Brian. Berman – get your sorry ass over here!

      Picard: Berman! So that’s it eh? After Roddenbery died that son of a Ferengi crapped up *my* show too!

      Kirk: Roddenberry…DEAD ?? I… I… cant IMAGINE … the show without …

      Tune in NEXT WEEK for MORE Exciting crap on the Show That Never Ends or Changes…. ENTERPOOP!!

      Hah! Very funny, but you forgot the miscellaneous-character-from-the-future such as Admiral Janeway, or Daniels, or someone else random, who comes along and fixes it.

      Whatever they do, if they really are going to dig Enterprise out of the trash heap it’s going to have to be very significant. Judging by what’s available of preproduction information, it looks like they’re going to spice things up with… a war! Oh my, how original. Hands up who thinks it’s with the Klingons.

      • Re: Next Week On Enterpoop ….
        I agree with all the above. I won’t repeat here my opinions of Berman. However…

        Things to point out (not that they will be used correctly ;))
        1) The Borg *have* been in Earth’s solar system, in the time of Zephram Cochrane, which is still living memory.
        2) Presumably, there *was* a war with the Klingons at some point, else there would be no “DMZ” (Neutral Zone).
        3) A war with the Romulans is yet to come (established in TOS).

        As I said, not that any of this will be handled properly. ;)

        • Re: Next Week On Enterpoop ….
          True, the Borg have been there but how many people on Earth actually found out what was going on? Two, at most? Easy for that to get lost, especially around such a monumental time (FTL travel, First Contact…)

          I know there was a war with the Klingons (several ongoing ones at that), but it does seem a rather obvious way out… still, it’s got to happen, and previous series suggested it happened pretty soon after first contact, if not immediately.

          I think the Romulan war will come a bit later… although it’s possible this is it. We’ll see, won’t we?

          • Re: star wars
            I’m not sure I want to see a space war series; Star Trek battles tend to draw attention to the show’s sillier elements. And I’m not certain the Romulan War would work since, if they are to respect series continuity (hey, it could happen), they’ll not be able to show any Romulans.

            It may be easier to fight a real-life war if the enemy is de-personalized, but it makes for lousy drama.

            • Re: star wars

              I’m not sure I want to see a space war series; Star Trek battles tend to draw attention to the show’s sillier elements. And I’m not certain the Romulan War would work since, if they are to respect series continuity (hey, it could happen), they’ll not be able to show any Romulans.

              It may be easier to fight a real-life war if the enemy is de-personalized, but it makes for lousy drama.

              Not necessarily… firstly, some Romulans could be shown on a few occasions provided the people who see them don’t survive (but then killing people has never been much of a Trek thing, it’s not happy-clappy enough), and also there is I think a lot of potential in a war against a completely faceless enemy, provided of course that it’s done right. It could be a total disaster, but if given to sufficiently talented writers… okay, so I’m an optimist!

              • Re: star wars

                It could be a total disaster, but if given to sufficiently talented writers… okay, so I’m an optimist!

                I still think a space war series would fizzle, especially one saddled with Trek‘s notoriously silly space-battle tactics. And they’d have to be willing to kill people; you’ve already addressed the problem that presents.

                I also think you’re correct to point out the dramatic potential of a faceless enemy. I wonder if that wouldn’t be blunted, in this case, given that the audience members knows who the Romulans are.

                It certainly would be an interesting challenge for a writer to make this situation work. Based on Enterprise‘s track record, though, believing they’ll find sufficiently talented writers is akin to smiling happily when you’re told the cheque is in the mail.

              • Re: star wars

                (but then killing people has never been much of a Trek thing, it’s not happy-clappy enough)

                Distribute enough redshirts…

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