Episode III Crawl Revealed

Starwars.com has revealed the opening crawl for the final Star Wars movie.


War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate.

As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the beseiged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor…

10 replies on “Episode III Crawl Revealed”

  1. You have got to be kidding me
    Oh please no…no…no…no….

    It might as well be:

    WAR! UGH…HuH…What is it good for?

    • Re: You have got to be kidding me

      Oh please no…no…no…no….

      It might as well be:

      WAR! UGH…HuH…What is it good for?

      LOL

      Good God, y’all…

      Well done.

    • Re: You have got to be kidding me

      WAR! UGH…HuH…What is it good for?

      Same as the movie will be – absolutely nothing.

  2. Nooooooooooooooo
    Somebody save me!

    And no, that’s not a hint to start singing the Smallville theme.

    • Re: Nooooooooooooooo

      Somebody save me!

      And no, that’s not a hint to start singing the Smallville theme.

      I can see the opening now:

      *aforementioned crawl*

      Scene open: Space

      Pan down to a beat up old space ship with six huge flower stickers on the back orbiting the planet of Tatoine. The spaceship lands and the door opens with a puff of blue smoke rising from the door.

      Two young Jedi stumble out ready to partake in MosStock. The first conversation has something to do with the munchies.

      • Re: Nooooooooooooooo
        Now that I think about it. Better title:

        Anakain & Obi Wan go to White Castle.

  3. sheesh

    the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous

    Oh, come on! General Grievous? Who’s next, Lieutenant Serious?

    • Re: sheesh

      the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous

      Oh, come on! General Grievous? Who’s next, Lieutenant Serious?

      You didn’t see the Clone Wars cartoons did you? General Grevious was in the last episode and was actually a really cool bad guy.

        • Re: sheesh

          Sure, if by “really cool” you mean “mind-shatteringly cheesy”.

          Explain yourself young man. How is bad guy that slays Jedi at ease with their own weapons “mind-shatteringly cheesy”. I don’t care if you attack Lucas, but when you attack “Clone Wars”, you’re attacking Genndy Tarkovsky, and I’m not going to stand for that.

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