Constantine Review

Anonymous Coward writes,
Thanks To A Friend Of Mine, I Got To Go See An
Advanced Preview Of Constantine. I Thought I’d Share
My Thoughts With You Guys.
Note that this
review is anonymous, so it is a bit hard to confirm
that it actually was a person at a screening. (The
Alexius-like capitalizations are only in that first
portion.) The full review is below.

Title: Constantine

Cast, Crew, and Other Info:

Director: Francis

, and Garth


…. John Constantine

…. Angela Dodson/Isabel Dodson

…. Chas Chandler

…. Midnite

…. Beeman

Taylor Vince
…. Father Hennessy

McGregor Rossdale
…. Balthazar (as Gavin

…. Gabriel

…. Lucifer


Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book
Hellblazer and written by Kevin Brodbin,
Mark Bomback and Frank Capello, Constantine tells the
story of irreverent supernatural detective John
Constantine (Keanu Reeves), who has literally been to
hell and back. When Constantine teams up with
sceptical policewoman Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) to
solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister (also
played by Weisz), their investigation takes them
through the world of demons and angels that exists
just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los
Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of
otherworldly events, the two become inextricably
involved and seek to find their own peace at whatever

High Point:

Constantine’s threat to Balthazar, or his farewell to

Low Point:

Either the portrayal of Lucifer, which was good, just
not what I expected, or the ‘soldiers of hell’, who
looked like Gollum after a shotgun blast.

The Scores:

Originality: 2/6 I haven’t read the comics, but even
so, this wasn’t much that was new. Heaven and Hell,
with all the assorted characters from the Christian
Mythos, are fighting right in front of us, end of the
world hangs in the balance. Dogma
and End of
were both mentioned when we discussed what
the movie reminded us of.

Effects: 4/6 Nothing new in terms of special
effects, but what they had looked good. They had a
few bullet-time type shots, which looked good. My
biggest complaint on this front would be my low

Story: 4/6 The story was good, and was told well,
not revealing too much too soon, nor delaying any of
the answers needlessly. I’m still not sure I
understood how everything fit in, but I’d want to see
it again to make sure it wasn’t just me missing

Acting: 3/6. Keanu was Keanu. Everyone else came
off a little bored or disinterested.

Production: 5/6. Everything came together very
well, with dark scenes being dark, and everything
explaining what we needed to know.

Emotional Response: 3/6 I laughed where
appropriate, and felt awe and/or dread, but in
general, I didn’t really like any characters, or care
if they ended up surviving or not.

Overall: 5/6. I enjoyed this movie, and I plan on
going to see it again.

In total, Constantine receives 26/42.

6 replies on “Constantine Review”

  1. Angel’s back!
    supernatural detective John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), who has literally been to hell and back

    OK, it doesn’t sound as well done, but… ;-)

    I’m looking forward to seeing Shia Lebouf, he was really good in Holes, and Keanu’s standard character doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother a lot of people. Especially the fact that he *has* a standard character: so does Sean Connery, and everyone loves him…

  2. Keanu ain’t good enough
    OK, just knowing that “Keanu was Keanu” is enough to make me lose hope.

    It would help if someone who knew the comic book character, especially back
    to his creation by Alan Moore for the Swamp Thing run up to
    the Crisis on Infinite Earths, reviewed it. Not a criticism, just a regret.

    You see, the magic of Hellblazer (Constantine’s comic book) is
    that Constantine has done it all (almost) and seen it all (almost). He’s a
    ruthless bastard who is largely indifferent to the smaller ways in which the
    people around him are going to hell (sometimes literally) while he staves off
    the bigger evils. If you think Buffy’s
    Angel in his darker (but still not evil) moments, you’re on the right track.
    His own demons don’t quite consume him, though they’ll often take him out
    for a ride, and unless it has something to do with his
    own agenda he’ll usually prefer to stay uninvolved. He’s ruthless enough to
    use trickery to damn somebody else to Hell for his own sins, but still human
    enough to be
    sidetracked by pity. He’ll choose the lesser of two evils without blinking,
    because it’s largely the story of his life.

    He comes off as a complex character, somebody without any showy powers
    but a definite air of
    menace from both his knowledge and his willingness to use it to further his
    own agenda. It would take somebody with some serious acting talent to pull
    it off
    correctly, and Keanu being Keanu just isn’t going to cut it. I had hoped that
    somehow he’d find a passion for the character that would inspire him to
    greater talent, but it sounds like not.

    What a shame. I keep hoping that someone will do a good job on the big
    screen on at least one of Alan Moore’s hero book creations (I’m excluding
    because I didn’t see it and allow that Johnny Depp could have
    done a good job).

    • Re: Keanu ain’t good enough
      From Hell is about as good a Moore adaptation as you can hope for. Not up to
      the stunning quality of the book, of course, but doesn’t deliberately take a
      giant dump all over it like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen did.

  3. Ooops.
    Yeah, That Was Me. I Didn’t Realize I Wasn’t Logged In Until After I Posted It, Then I Figured My Caps Would Give Me Away.

    • Re: Ooops.

      Yeah, That Was Me. I Didn’t Realize I Wasn’t Logged In Until After I Posted It, Then I Figured My Caps Would Give Me Away.

      …And, Yeah, I Actually Was At The Screening.

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