dram
writes, I got to see a press screening of
Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones. I
have written a review but it is the first time I
have ever delved this deeply into a movie,
hopefully you enjoy it. I have left out all
spoilers, I make reference to one specific part
of the movie but it was in the trailers, so don’t
worry about it. Read the review and go see the
movie, if you are unsure if you want to see it
opening day, all I have to say is buy your
tickets now. The sort of it is that this movie
was far better than Episode I and I thought it
was better than Spider-Man.

Cast

Ewan
McGregor …. Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie
Portman …. Senator Padmé Amidala
Hayden
Christensen …. Anakin Skywalker
Ian
McDiarmid …. Supreme Chancellor
Palpatine/Darth Sidious
Samuel
L. Jackson …. Mace Windu
Pernilla
August …. Shmi Skywalker
Jack
Thompson (I) …. Cliegg Lars
Christopher
Lee …. Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus
Anthony
Daniels …. C-3PO/ Lt. Dannl Faytonni
Frank
Oz …. Yoda (voice)
Andrew
Secombe …. Watto (voice)
Oliver
Ford Davies …. Sio Bibble
Silas
Carson …. Nute Gunray/Ki-Adi-Mundi
Kenny
Baker (I) …. R2-D2
Ahmed
Best …. Jar Jar Binks (voice)/Ahck Med-Beq

Directed by George
Lucas
Written by George
Lucas and Jonathan
Hales

High Point

It’s Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the
Clones, need I say more?

Low Point

Would Anakin like some cheese with that whine?

The Scores

Clearly, originality is not the best in
any Star Wars movie. Mr. Lucas draws on myths and
themes that have been in all cultures since the
beginning of time. Also, this movie ended just
like Episode V, it makes you wait for a climax
that never comes, it will be another three years
before we see how this story is resolved.
Overall I give it 3 out of 6.

The effects of this movie were just great.
The amount of improvement that is evident in
just three years is incredible. There was only
one part that I noticed where the animation did
not quite look right, when Padmé was taking a
bite of food from her fork (when you see the
movie you will see what I mean.) This gets 5 out
of 6.

The story was the best part, in the middle
of the movie I was quite confused as to what was
going on and who were the good guys. Partly that
was because I had no idea what role Count Dooku
played. If you know what side he’s on it won’t
be hard to figure out, but if you don’t, I won’t
spoil it for you. The story definitely gets a 6
of 6.

The acting was much better than in Episode
I. The actors were more relaxed and carried off
their roles better. However, Hayden
Christensen’s performance was a bit lacking. I
think it was partly the fault of the direction
but in any case it was poorly done. I feel that
Anakin Skywalker should not whine about how
Obi-Wan is holding him back, it is not fitting
for the man who will become Darth Vader. Since
this is the low point of the movie it will only
get 2 out of 6.

I don’t quite know what to say about the
emotional response to this movie, am I
allowed to give it 7 out of 6? There is just
something awe inspiring when you see the words,
“A long time age, in a galaxy far, far away…”
and then having it cut the Star Wars logo right
as the music queues up. Unlike the last time we
saw this on the big screen, the following movie
was able to keep up. In any movie where you know
that everybody will live to the end it takes out
some of the stress the audience feels, but there
are times when you still want to yell at the
screen, “Why are you listening to him???? Can’t
you see what slime Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
is?????” So I will give this 6 out of 6.

When hasn’t the production been good for a
Star Wars movie? Most of the time you don’t
notice it, which, IMHO, is the mark of good
production. There are times that you do, like
when Anakin jumps from the speeder and starts to
freefall. That was an impressive little
sequence. I will give this a 6 of 6 as well.

Overall the movie was great. I would say
it is the third best movie in the entire Star
Wars series (and as one of my friends said, “You
could start a fight with words like that.”) A
few other things that I thought were cool in the
movie: we got to see Owen Lars and “[his]
girlfriend, Beru.” Also seeing Yoda as a
whirling green dervish in a fight sequence has
got to be one of the best, funniest things I have
seen in a long time. When he picks up his cane
afterwards the audience will laugh, at least it
did when I saw it. If, by chance, you had been
worried about Jar-Jar, don’t. He is hardly in
this movie and when he is he’s far less bouncy
and his ears stay still, they don’t flop all over
the place. I would like to think that they
injected his ears with botox so they wouldn’t be
able to move. That would be almost as good as
Mace Windu cutting off his head right at the
beginning of the movie. Lastly, I would like to
say that Natalie Portman is very hot in this
movie, my girlfriend even agrees. This movie
gets 6 of 6 for resurrecting my faith in the Star
Wars franchise.

The grand totals bring Star Wars: Episode II –
Attack of the Clones to 34 of 42.