We were holding off on the discussion column since
Timeshredder might have been able to see it and
review it properly, but entries in the submission
queue seem to indicate people want to discuss it now.
We were holding off on the discussion column since
Timeshredder might have been able to see it and
review it properly, but entries in the submission
queue seem to indicate people want to discuss it now.
The Reviews
Well, looks like we don’t have a review of this one, but the general critical opinion rivals the reception accorded Catwoman.
I narrowly missed seeing this on Saturday. Is it really that bad?
Re: The Reviews
How can it be good if it’s only rated PG-13? (seriously, this is AvP – there should be graphic death, dismemberment and swearing in spades)
Re: The Reviews
You can do that with PG-13, you go and show a pair of tits though and R rating baby.
I Was Afraid of This
Darn! The signs were all there: (1) I didn’t even hear about the movie until about a month before its release, as if they didn’t want to spend much to promote it. (2) It’s not opening in a lot of theaters here in Denver, CO. (3) And it didn’t get reviewed by the Denver Rocky Mountain News (a major local newspaper)
Of course, I didn’t think the comic book was all that great either. It was good, but not like The Dark Knight Returns, for instance.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
That’s the thing – if you’re a big fan of the AvP comics (like myself), this movie was just about perfect. It was almost a direct adaptation of the 1989 comic.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
There have been several AvP comic series produced by Dark Horse. My first disapointment was that they didn’t go with the first AvP mini-series set on the desert planet Ryushi with human corporate girl Machiko eventually being adopted by a Predator clan. I’d always imagined Tia Carrere in the role. ;)
Re: I Was Afraid of This
Except, they did go with that story.
* * * SPOILERS * * *
A group of humans, in the wrong place at the wrong time, muck up a Predator initiation hunt. The overconfident Predators are killed. Almost all of the humans are killed. The only surviving Predator and the only surviving human female join forces, marks the female as Blooded with the Predator’s Sigil, and manage to blow the place up – except the Queen survives and kills the Predator.
Same basic plot, with some different details.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
Here’s the one thing that confused me: humans were necessary, as
incubators, for the hunt. No humans means no aliens, means no hunt.
It’s pretty obvious that we have a technological civilization with firearms from
the moon’s orbit, and it’s pretty obvious that the temple was in a remote
location that only humans aided by signficant technology could reach.
So why the heck were humans with guns a surprise to the Predators? I could
understand it if they never expected the temple to be detected, but humans
were essential to the hunt!
So I think the only answer we can come up with is that the humans did
not “muck up” the hunt – they, guns and all, were intended to be
part of it as a random factor.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
In some conversations between Bishop and the chemist the probability that this party was intentionally lured to the temple was given. I believe they were supposed to be there after all; otherwise how are the aliens supposed to develop to challenging prey without a temple sacrifice.
I think the only snafu in this event for the Predators was the removal of the three weapons from their resting place.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
Just because a story is about two teenagers who fall in love and then die does not mean that it’s Romeo and Juliette. Writing a story that has some dwarves and elves in it doesn’t magically transform it into Lord of the Rings. It’s the same thing here and your offhand ‘Same basic plot, with some different details’ comment is a pretty disingenuous.
The stories laid out in AvP the comic vs AvP the movie are completely different; different characters, different environments, different timelines, different stories.
Re: I Was Afraid of This
I have to agree with this, from what I remember of the original story.
I liked it
People hold their hops up way too high in this day and age. Cmon people, you really expected this thing to rock your socks? I personally loved the hell out of it. It was exactly what i had expected. Alien and Predator go at it. That’s all i wanted to see. Not some hyped up “cutting edge computer graphics” or “the best storyline ever”. I just wanted to see some humans getting their asses owned, aliens getting blownup, shot, stabbed, and generally mutilated, and predators kicking ass as usual. If you love alien and predator then go see it. You’ll have to see it eventually just BECAUSE it’s an alien and predator movie. You might just like it.
Re: I liked it
Its people like you who let hollywood get away with crap.
Another thing
In response to the fact that it was pg-13 doesn’t really say much. Alien blood and guts don’t count when it comes to rating a film because there were TONS. Predators getting impaled and yummy glowing green blood flying everywhere, few chest bursters, aliens getting sliced in half. If it weren’t for that person saying it was pg13 i wouldn’t have noticed.
Re: Another thing
Slightly OT, but I remember watching a TV review of some game where you could squish sheep (“accidentally” of course ;) The weird part was that the sheep had green blood; the reviewer suggested it was because red blood would have forced an M rating…
Re: Another thing
If the game makers wanted to sell it in germany, they can’t use red blood.
Depictions of blood are utterly banned in germany, so gory games that wish
to make some money over there are forced to censor their games with oddly
coloured blood, or in one memorable instance, with people who bleed flowers
(that’s some delicious sarcasm).
And in the meantime, we all know that Klingons bleed freakin Bepto Bismol
;-)
Re: Another thing
If there are predators and humans and there isn’t anything happening to the
humans that doesn’t warrant a higher rating than that, then they aren’t doing
it right.
Humans should be getting slaughtered mercilessly left and right, with graphic
depictions of the utter insouciance of the Predators and the vicious blood-
thirst of the Aliens. I remember Predators skinning humans and cleaning our
their skulls to keep as trophies, and I HATE when my beloved monsters are
pussyfied for mass-market appeal.
Re: Another thing
Granted but you also have to understand the plot. (POSSIBLE SPOILERS) There’s a limited number of humans available for the slaughter and most of them get owned by the chestbursters or the aliens. The predators are there to kick some serious alien ass. I dunno, i guess it was lacking some pure gore but i think there was enough to sooth my masocistic soul.
Re: Another thing
Must be a masochist to enjoy this movie. Got it.
;-)
Re: Another thing
I think South Park said it best… excessive violence is fine, just so long as there’s no foul language.
Dead End
Same your money, just watch Batman: Dead End as a substitute : )
It is what it is
I saw it on Friday night (opening night, which I rarely do) and I was pleasantly surprised. It accomplished what they intended. It was action packed, had a decent story (at least you could follow it), the acting was fairly good, and there were lots of Alien vs. Predator fights. People complaining about the Predator not killing all the humans don’t remember the original movie. The Predators kill for the sport of it. If the “victim” isn’t armed or isn’t a challenge, they will let them live. If they are shooting at them trying to kill them, they are fair game.
The movie wasn’t great (I watched the director’s cut of Aliens last night, and it was still awesome), but it was very entertaining. Paul Anderson did a great job. But then, I loved Resident Evil (which he also did, and had the same black dude that was in AvP). I really can’t complain about the rating. They really pushed the PG-13 to the limit. And besides cutting the camera shot at the last second, you really couldn’t tell it was PG-13 (parents of young children might not like that though). It was as close to R as you can get.
But for those that thought it completely sucked, I think you may have been expecting something else. This wasn’t a Ridley Scott film, or a James Cameron film. If you were expecting that caliber film, you WILL be disappointed.
The only thing that disappointed me was that it was way too short. 90 minutes isn’t long enough for this kind of movie.
Ratings in general
I, like many find the PG-13 rating a bit odd. It conflicts with the history of both fanchises. A point that further confuses me is that one of the characters in AVP borrows one of Swartzenegger’s lines for Pred 1, and I cannot recall those words ever being spoken in a PG-13 film before. I thought that particular noun was automatic R rating.
Those of you who’ve seen it should know what line I’m refering to, those who haven’t, the surprise is still there.
After mentioning this to my brother, he noted that there seemed to have been fewer R movies released over year than previous years. Has anybody else noticed this trend?
Does the MPAA publish a list of the criterie for a given movie rating, or is that a closely guarded secret… like how to decrypt DVD’s?
Re: Ratings in general
Straight from the devil’s mouth: http://www.mpaa.org/movieratings/about/content3.htm
Re: Ratings in general
I was hoping for more concise guidelines. For example, “brief nudity” can be interpreted in different ways. It my be construed to mean “a short period of time during which nudity is present,” or it could mean a small amount of actor’s(actress’s) body is exposed.
They also mentioned “single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words.” If they are that specific about how many times you can use a “harsher sexually-derived word,” one would think there is a list.
There must be a handbook they give to these people. That’s what I’m looking for.
Lats get rady ta Rrrrrrumbal!
It was a flimsy cliche’d premise that got the archeological group together; the acheological find that may give answers to the riddle of three vanished civilizations. They picked it up when a satellite picked up the heat traces of the thing under the polar ice cap. That should have been their first clue about something strange. The second? It’s remoteness; antarctica. The third? That big hole in the ice that leads straight down to the Pyramid that wasn’t there the previous day. Even though these are supposedly the “finest minds money can buy” safety is put aside so as to first claim and explore the site. I found the (lack of) precaution and intelligence of the characters laughable.
Then again, that bottlecap scene should have been a clue for me to the archeological expertise…
So I put my mind in neutral and discovered I could be entertained. The predators act; the aliens show up. The purpose of the temple came clear. Mayhem abounds in cinematic splendor. Truth be told I was rooting for both the predator and one of the human characters who showed SOME intelligence and wisdom. Them aliens are just creepy, though. The survival of the fittest was proven here. *wince*
If your looking for a feasable plot; you may be dissapointed. If your seeking mindless carnage and action then this is the fare for you.
Best. Recap. Ever.
** SPOILERS **
The best description of this movie I could imagine comes from http://www.atomictoy.org:
———-
ALIEN Vs. PREDATOR
A Touching Tale of Sacrifice and Ridiculous Human/Warrior Alien Beast Love
(to be read a maximum volume)
OUTERSPACE: OMG OMINOUS INTRO LOL JUST A SATILLITE
SCINCE DUDES: WHOA UNDERGROUND PYRAMID THAT IS SOMEWHAT SIMILAR TO THE HIVE IN RESIDENT EVIL
BISHOP: HAY GATHER ME A SCIENCE TEAM OF TEENAGERS WITH ATTITUDE…SORT OF LIKE JURRASSIC PARK…HA……
DIRECTOR: CHARACTER DEVLOPMENT? NO.
——–SOME SHIT HAPPENS NO INVOLING ANYTHING COOL———-
BISHOP: OK DUDES LETS START DRILLING TO THE UNDERGROUND PYRAM- OH COOL SOMEONE DRILLED SOME AMAZING HOLE ALREADY, THANX WHOEVER.
SCIENCE TEAM: WE ARE NOT PHASED BY THIS IMPOSSIBLE LASER HOLE.
——–MORE SHIT MOSTLY INVOLING FLASHLIGHTS———-
RETARDED FLOOR-SWITCH-PLOT-DEVICE: HA HA NOW YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED
ALIEN QUEEN: SUP
——–MORE FLASHLIGHTS———
SCENCE TEAM: WHOA SACRIFICIAL CHAMBER
BISHOP: MAKING HISTORY IS AWESOME
SCIENCE TEAM: BADASS, A CHEST FULL OF GUN-SHAPED THINGS WTF ARE THEY
PREDATORS: SHIT! OUR LASERGUNS!
SCINCE TEAM: GROSS, SLIME EGGS
FACE HUGGERS: BULLETTIME, BITCHES
CHESTBURSTER: THAT WAS FAST. HERE COMES THE PAIN
PREDATORS: DIE PUNY HUMANS. WE ARE SO BADASS
BADASS BLACK DUDE: HI I WAS IN RESIENT EVIL AND WAS KILLED BY A LASER-NET. WOULDN’t THAT BE STUPID IF I GOT KILLED BY ANOTHER NET OF SOME SORT?
NET: YES. DIE.
PYRAMID: I CHANGE SHAPE EVERY 10 MINUETS! CAN YOU SOLVE MY MYSTERIES?? I WILL PROBABLY JUST STOP CHANING SHAPE LATER THO…BECASUE THE WRITERS FORGOT ABOUT IT….SIGH
ALIENS: RRR DIE PREDATORS
PREDATOR: WELL I HOPE YOU WEREN”T HOPING TO SEE MANY PREDATORS KICKING ASS BECASUE I AM A PUSSY. *DIES*
OTHER PREDATOR: YA, ME TOO. *DIES*
BISHOP: DIE ONLY REMAINING PREDATOR! RAR BLOWTORCH MADE OF STUFF!
BISHOP: SHIT MAKING HISTORY IS HARD *DIES*
SURVIALIST CHICK: I AM THE SOLE SURVIVOR EXCEPT FOR ITALIAN DORK
DIRECTOR: YA RIGHT!
ITALIAN DORK: ARGHHHHH
SURVIVALIST CHICK: HA HA I KILL YOU ALIEN, WITH THIS SPEAR THAT FOR SOME REASON DOSEN’T MELT FROM ACID BLOOD!
PREDATOR: I TOTALLY RESPECT YOU NOW. I GIVE YOU THIS GIFT OF AN ALIEN HEAD TO WEAR AS A MITTEN.
AUDIENCE: OH FUCK
—– EXPLOSION ——
QUEEN: I AM THE LAST BOSS
PREDATOR / SURVIALIST CHICK: BEHOLD THE POWER OF OUR TEAMWORK!
QUEEN: OH NO A WATERY GRAVE
PREDATOR: YOU ARE PRETTY COOL I GUESS *DIES*
PREDITOR KING: HERE TAKE THIS…THING I DON’T WANT IT
PREDATOR CHESBURSTER: WOST ENDING EVER!
THE END
Re: Best. Recap. Ever.
Thanks, you just saved me 7 dollars :D