It’s the Great Cthulhu, Charlie Brown!

It’s Halloween again, when all manner of spook-themed films haunt the small screens. Now I could wax about James Whale’s Frankenstein and the rest of the Universal Monster Movies, or explain why I prefer Ginger Snaps to any number of mad-slasher pics. I could compose the inevitable list of best horror movies that you know is going to appear at the Bureau soon, carefully balancing heavy-hitters like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with lower-key works such as Targets I could wonder what the Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror” has left to parody, or fondly recall tv specials of my youth, complaining that those Kiss fans want too much for pirate copies of Paul Lynde’s ’76 show.

But I’m not going to do that….

Nope. This is a list of the horror movies you’d like to see, and the Halloween Specials that really ought to be on the tube. And while your suggestions will no doubt be funnier than mine, we have to start somewhere so….

A Nightmare on Enterprise: Freddy Krueger invades the slumbering cast of the Star Trek franchise, killing them all horribly before being put to sleep himself after he overhears a Bureau 42 discussion of continuity errors. Rated R for the infamous “Decon w/ Freddy Glove” scene.

The Britney Spears Halloween Special. Special guest-stars: Madonna… and Britney’s creator, Dr. Frankenstein.

Jayne-ger Snaps: The crew of Serenity face a new genre-blend when Jayne is bitten by a wolvish creature and undergoes the behavioral changes associated with lycanthropy. No one notices.

The Star Wars Halloween Special: The Star Wars Holiday Special has become a part of nerdlore, and Lucas finally follows it up with a Halloween Spectacular. Jar Jar Binks and the “romantic” dialogue from Attack of the Clones figure prominently. State-of-the-art CGI inserts classic monsters into familiar Star Wars scenes; naturally, they all shoot first. For those still not terrified, look for the extended Ewok Musical Number!

Well, all right…. What would you like to see?

8 replies on “It’s the Great Cthulhu, Charlie Brown!

  1. dkichline says:

    My list
    The Great Race (of Yith)
    Let Mi people Go
    Maid in R’lyeh -or- Autumn in New R’lyeh
    For your reading: The Hounds of Tindalos

  2. Radish03 says:

    Let’s see….
    Stargate: Evil Dead: Ash joins the SG-1 Team, and a solar flare causes the wormhole to be redirected to the innermost circle of hell…

    • Cerberus7 says:

      Re: Let’s see….
      I’d so watch that. :)

      • y42 says:

        Re: Let’s see….

        I’d so watch that. :)

        Eh, I’d watch just to see why they keep going back to the inner
        most circle of hell every week! : )

    • GrimSean says:

      Re: Let’s see….

      Stargate: Evil Dead: Ash joins the SG-1 Team, and a solar flare causes the wormhole to be redirected to the innermost circle of hell…

      I can see it now… Good, Bad, I’m the guy with the Goa’uld.

  3. Lurch_Kimded says:

    Heres a bunch…
    OK, to keep with current trends the Verus Movies first:
    Jason vs Thunderbirds – The wooden carnage!
    Leather Face vs Captain Scarlet – Hmmmm Capt on a Meat Hook
    Freedy vs Scrappy-Do – Freddy meets his match

    George W Bush Uncovered – Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh! Naked Presidents!
    The Sesame Street Zone – Submitted for your consideration the strange case of the number 3 and the letters K and X.
    Hellraiser 9 – Pinhead does his laundry – I just can’t beleive they’ve made eight of these!
    Kill Bears – vol 1 – Tarantino does Care Bears. Half the budget of course spent on stuffing.
    Good Taste – The Veggietale remake, fear the cucumber! FEAR HIM!!!
    Crouching Cthulhu, Hidden R’lyeh – The Great One himself goes toe to toe with the Jade Shambler… ok that one’s stretching it a bit.
    Salem’s Car Lot – Having failed in their first attempt they give and open a car show room with “crazy Prices!”
    Four Legged Freaks! – Mutant “My Little Pony’s” take over America mid-west, featuring GWB as their leader, The Horseman of the Apocolypse

    OK, thats me I think I’ve used up all my creative juices for the next three weeks on that lot.

  4. seldon says:

    B&B Take Over Sci-Fi
    A two hour special where Berman & Braga are given free reign over every sci-fi show ever made. I don’t think anything can be more horrific than that.

    • Timeshredder says:

      Re: B&B Take Over Sci-Fi

      A two hour special where Berman & Braga are given free reign over every sci-fi show ever made.

      It would be interesting to see how they would work T&A into 2001: A Space Odyssey.

      And Lost in Space would be too horrific to contemplate. The family that decons together….”

      No. I didn’t really type that. Next comment.

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