No question, Reality TV now dominates the small screen, with its wildly unreal premises and cheap budgets. The very real fear exits that high-budget genre shows will be pushed out, and the boob tube will leave nerds with nothing to watch.

Ah, but have no fear. We’re a lucrative market, many of us watch such quasi-reality nerd shows such as Junk Yard Wars, and consequently, various networks will be introducing geek-friendly reality television this autumn!

Star Trek: The Next Syndication*

Three teams will compete to make the best Star Trek spin-off using a fully-equipped studio, some styrofoam rocks, stock Trek effects, and the contents of their local scrap yard. The best ep will win its team thousands of dollars in prizes! The worst will be adapted by Berman/Braga and be syndicated nationally!

*Yes! I stole the title from a home-made Trek spoof that toured SF Cons in the late 1980s. It’s not like I’m making money from this article.

Premiere: Sept. 15, 2004.

Zero Clonage!

A vacant office building has been converted into a mid-1990s comic book company, and would-be artists and writers will work before the cameras attempting to churn out four different titles involving Zeroman!TM and Clone Boy TM, with crossover storylines. The twist? Executives and marketing experts will make insane demands, including a 5-issue extension of a storyline involving Clone BoyTM‘s efforts to return a lost puppy to its owner, the inclusion of storyline pushing the new Zeroman!TM action figure, the introduction of an all-powerful being with no apparent purpose, and retcons that will actually affect events that appear earlier in the same comic! A deranged lunatic will spin a wheel and introduce one required plot twist each episode! Also, random guest-appearances will be made by the Elf With A Gun, not in the comic, but in the office!

Will they succeed? Which writer/artist will experience a breakdown? And will the company file for bankruptcy protection? Watch Zero Clonage! and find out!

Premiere: Oct. 7, 2004.

Who Wants to Marry a Big Honkin’ Nerd?

Female contestant vie to impress a financially successful nerd in search of a girlfriend. Competitions will test each Potential* in such areas as computer programming, obscure fanboy trivia recognition, and gaming skill. Contestants will be eliminated weekly by the Nerd, or whenever they turn out to be bisexual tomboys and run off with each other.

Premiere: delayed until they find enough women interested in participating.

Term pending results of copyright infringement suit by Joss Whedon.

The Chix0r

A counterpart to Who Wants to Marry a Big Nerd?, this show will feature a computer-savvy female nerd looking for love among a group of male contestants. Since each contestant will be a bona fide nerd or geek, competitions will stress not only nerdly virtues, but also whether each has the ability to hold down normal conversations and blend in at family functions.

Premiere: Sept 20, 2004.

Survivor: SF Con

Twelve ordinary, mundane people will be required to survive the weekend at an SF con.

Premiere: Sept. 1, 2004.

America’s Next Top Survivor

The judges from American Idol and America’s Next Top Model will be tribes in an instalment of Survivor. Okay, it’s not specifically a nerd show, but tell me you wouldn’t watch this.

Premiere: Oct. 31, 2004.

Anyone hear of others?