Have you ever wanted to be a super-hero?

Maybe you already are! Take this simple test!

Award yourself one point for each positive answer. A factor of 10 or higher means you may well be a super-hero. Or it may mean you’re freakin’ delusional.

You may be a super-hero if:

1. The flimsiest of disguises render you unrecognizable to close friends.

2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/pal is a danger magnet of such a degree that she/he often has trouble getting home from work without being kidnapped by gangsters and/or extra-terrestrials.

3. You engage in sophisticated conversations during hand-to-hand combat with arch-villains.

4. You engage in hand-to-hand combat with arch-villains.

5. Your town draws arch-villains whose crimes have a motif.

6. Clothing fits you so tightly it accentuates every muscular contour of your body. If you are female, the fabric sticks between your breasts, instead of stretching across them.

7. Even a drive in the country or a walk through the city is likely to bring you into contact with events which could threaten world peace, endanger all terrestrial life, or otherwise profoundly affect the future of the world.

8. Your car has a name, a theme, and an assortment of cool gadgets.

9. Jung’s notion of synchronicity could become more than a speculative hypothesis based solely on the events of any two-month period in your life.

10. You hold membership in at least one organization of people with extraordinary abilities and absolutely no fashion sense.

11. You have an adventurous but entirely non-sexual relationship with an unrelated younger person, with whom, despite age and other differences, you get along very well.

12. You know a statistically improbable number of people with cool names which frequently relate to the person’s exceptional ability or dominant personality trait.

13. People who dislike you have a penchant for wearing purple and/or green.

14. You have a friendship with a genius who has nothing better to do than invent cool technology for your personal use.

15. Space aliens frequently visit your town. They are often seeking you personally.

16. Engaging in international or even interplanetary adventures does not affect your day job.

17. You find opportunity to say things like, “It is my cousin’s cat, Streaky, who is non-super at present” and “Some kind of scarab crawled into me and put this suit on me and now… I’m in space with Batman. Looking for an invisible satellite.”

18. You have engaged in hand-to-hand combat, assisted by at least one muscular female whose upper body appears to have been inflated to 35 psi.

19. You have a secret hide-out and you are (a) not a criminal and (b) older than 12.

20. You have not aged visibly in at least two decades.

Sample Super-Hero Factors:

Clark Kent: 19
Bruce Wayne: 20
Peter Parker: 15
Timeshredder: 1. (2 if belonging to Bureau42 qualifies me for # 10).